Working On Myself
I want to go back to go back the old ways, the Instagram of 2013-way, a time when we all posted what we wanted, when we wanted. When I didn’t count likes or comments, I didn’t worry about what others would think of my post or worry if I was posting too often in the same week. I kept away for a month and I realized I can very easily disappear from the social media world. But I enjoy picking out my outfits and taking photos, sharing my work experiences, my commute. I enjoy writing my thoughts and reading the thoughts of others.
I have been on Instagram since 2013, as the years passed, it changed from being a friendly environment, into a competitive social platform where either everyone filters out their lives to get the most engagement or fear of showing it so others won’t judge. This comes from a feeling that the people around us approve of us, which we may or may not be able to control. I’ve had friends who have posted pictures they love, but when they only have 50 likes in the first hour within posting it, they delete it and say ‘just wasn’t getting the likes I thought it would’. But what does it matter if YOU love it? Somewhere along the way I lost my self-confidence, consumed by the “what ifs?” others may think of me based on my social media. It’s a self-confidence issue I’m trying to work on these next few months.
We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves (and others similar to ourselves) mastering and achieving goals that matter. This is the confidence that, if we learn and work hard in a particular area, we'll succeed; and it's this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of setbacks. I’m not talking about succeeding in architecture or in this website, I’m talking about succeeding in gaining a positive self-image and confidence in myself. It’s crazy that it has taken me this long to deal with it, especially after watching my mom (nicely) say ‘fuck the world, I’m living my life the way I want’ and she did so in a very positive way. When you realize how finite life really is, it’s suddenly not worth spending any time doubting yourself or living your life to how you think will best please others.
Some people believe that self-confidence can be built with affirmations and positive thinking; gaining a general sense of what's going on in life, and understanding that we have a right to be happy. So we’ll see, I’m starting this journey by focusing on doing what I want to do, what I want to share, and just having fun!
When I think of Fall — oversized sweaters and jackets definitely come to mind. Since I don’t get to experience it in Miami, I have a lot of fun layering up in deep hues when I visit New York. Starting with the perfect Fall combo of sweater dresses and leather jackets.