PERCEPTION IS REALITY
Ever feel like you're doing something you never thought you would. Maybe I'm not the only one who isn't following life the way I planned? I, for one, never (ever) thought I'd actually start a website, much less be sharing these thoughts (or any thoughts publicly for that matter). I spent the last 20 years in school studying and working towards a plan - my plan - but as I've learned over the years: Life doesn't always go the way we plan. That's a difficult pill to swallow, in case you haven't noticed - I'm a planner.
Ever feel like you plan, plan, and plan but when it doesn't have all the pieces anymore it seems pointless? I planned to graduate and work in a firm in New York to be near my mother so I can take care of her. I couldn't wrap my head around working in New York, even though I love what I studied and it was my plan. But without my mom, my thoughts went straight to - what's the point? So here's to all of you out there struggling with your life plans and goals, we all have our own stories. Maybe it's time we take a step back because I've always known I can't control life, but it's different to really feel that loss of control. We all have these plans and dreams, ideas of what our future should be, that we nurture and therefore cherish. Flexibility isn't always a thing (at least not for me) and there's this war between our dreams and unforeseen difficulties. What do we do when those difficulties arise? The way we answer that question is the making of us when our faith & hope is challenged, what do we do?
I may not be able to control what happens to me, but I can control my perspective of it. Sounds familiar, like a movie cliche. My mom in the midst of her painful illness, she chose to remain happy, and I could never really understand how... just how in all the chaos and all the fear, how do we stay happy and positive? The answer has always been simple: We can control whether or not we are happy. And in theory, it's simple, it's actually applying it that's difficult. It's like breathing, we breathe all the time (it's natural obviously). But ever notice when you panic how controlling your breathing can calm you down? The catch is: it's a conscious effort. In that moment you no longer are "just breathing", you are actively controlling every breath. It takes a conscious effort to control how we process what life throws at us. So in the moments when we feel like life isn't going according to plan or it's too hard or too sad: readjust, be flexible and see the beauty in the little things. We can't control the outcome of our plans, but we can control how we respond to it.
"you can decide not to be reduced by them" - Maya Angelou
Many of us have our lives mapped out and when something unexpected happens (the loss of a loved one, a bad break-up, struggling with finding a job, not graduating on time, not being married yet or just having a single bad day), it shakes us to be unsure of ourselves, unsure of what to do, and it's uncomfortable. Be brave, be honest and be open, because the sweetness of success only comes after tasting the bitterness of trials. For me, I'm processing it all through writing (may not be the best writing, but it's mine), traveling and rediscovering things I love and enjoy doing. It's not to say "to hell with planning I'm living carefree" (pretty sure that's impossible for me) because my dreams and goals are the same. It's learning how to readjust the plans to achieve those goals, looking at the big picture & moving forward, and more importantly knowing we have control over our own happiness.
Can't fight the trend - welcome to the Aviator Club. My sister's first comment on my jacket was "you look like a pilot" (obviously, it's an aviator jacket) but I love it. First saw it at Acne Studios, which of course made it's way down to Zara where I bought this one. Can't ever go wrong with black on black (at least that's what I believe). Threw on the jacket with some studded boots and went out for a walk, in the brisk cold...where my thoughts began to wander.